A novelist writes about the mind, body and soul.

Smoking Saga Day 2

Following on from my post yesterday, I am rather shamefully updating news of giving up cigarettes for Lent. I had planned to arrive at my friends’ house for dinner, with a bottle of wine but no cigarettes. Socialising, drinking, and feasting late, are all smoking triggers for me. I had actually planned this scenario, when at 750pm, I received the following text from my friend: Bring Cigarettes if u have any, really fancy one!

A better person than me, would have seen this as a challenge to overcome.

I texted back to say that I had given up for Lent, but I would bring a packet, that I had failed to throw away the day before. I toyed with the idea of not bringing them, but then decided I didn’t want to let her down at her own dinner party.  So of course we shared one in the garden, the moment I arrived. I felt pathetic and awful and planned not to post today at all. I was conscious of my breath as I kissed a rather fanciable man hello. I was conscious of other people  succeeding in giving up all sorts of things for Lent. After dinner, another woman, who said she had given up smoking for seventeen years, demanded one and my hostess said she would like one too.  I am proud to say at this instant, I did not, as I would usually do, join them in a carefree smoking fest.  So last night was a failure, but also somehow, a small triumph. I usually smoke at least 3 or 4 at a dinner and feel hung over from the nicotine the next day. At least today, I don’t have a nicotine hangover, but perhaps a tiny wine one!


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